How I travelled back in time and disappointed my past self
I travelled back in time to visit my past self. It didn’t go as well as I hoped.
Future self: Hi, I’m you’re future self.
Past self: Hi, what’s cool in the future?
FS: Well we have these things called “smart speakers”. They’re connected to a worldwide network of information and you can talk to them.
PS: Is it all the information in the world?
FS: Not all the information, but quite a lot of it. Newspapers, books, encyclopaedias.
PS: Can you ask it questions and it will answer?
FS: Yes you can. You can ask it how tall a celebrity is, what the latest news is, stuff like that.
PS: What do you use it for the most?
FS: It lives in the kitchen and I ask it to set timers for me?
PS: Like one of those kitchen timers?
FS: Yes. I have one in my phone.
PS: You have a timer built into the base of your phone?
FS: Phones, have changed, but I’ll tell you about that another time. So if your hands aren’t clean then you can ask it to set a timer.
PS: You have access to all the world’s information and you use it to set timers?
FS: As I said, not all the world’s information, but yes, that’s what I mostly use it for. I listen to the radio on it too.
PS: Radio’s still going then in the future?
FS: Still going strong.
PS: Don’t you have a radio in the kitchen? Let me guess, is it built into the oven?
FS: No, not built into the oven. It’s just handy you see, you just ask it to play the radio and it does.
PS: If it’s in the kitchen can you ask it to give you recipes?
FS: Yes, you can! I did it once.
PS: And?
FS: It worked OK, I still prefer looking at recipes written down though.
PS: [eye rolls]
FS: I just remembered, there’s one other thing I use it for — as a Bluetooth speaker?
PS: What’s a blue toothspeaker?
FS: Sorry, future jargon. Bluetooth is a way of sending audio over radio waves. So I can play music on my phone-
PS: Wait, you can play music on your telephone?
FS: Patience, I’ll talk about that another time. I can feel the future pulling me back. I send the music on my phone to the speaker, without wires.
PS: So you have this device which is connected to all the world’s knowledge and you use it like a wireless speaker?
FS: Sorry, I’m a bit of a disappointment aren’t I?
